Walk This Way
by Rayne23
Summary: MartinRuthie Pairing. I love him. I absolutely am in love with him. I can't help but cry every night he's gone. Every night he's with that... girl and his baby. Why? Why can't he see the hurt that builds in my heart, my soul? R&R please.


_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Seventh Heaven the characters or the show. I'm only doing this for enhancing my writing career. _

_**Authors note:** Well, another little story that has been on my mind for quite some time now! (laughs) I just never really found the time to post any of the stories I write. Nor do I find the time to finish the stories I write. Well, I do hope this here will meet your standards! And no, it's not a continuation to my other story. It's a complete new one. One that has more emotions maybe. One that's a little more drawn out. Personally I find this one with more drama a heart-wrenching story. I think a lot of you shall be very pleased with how this shall turn out. _

_Well as always **Read and Review.** I appreciate all feedbacks! _

_**Walk This Way**_

_By: Guardian Mistress _

_**Chapter 1 **"Crying in the Night"_

Painful.

The feeling that builds in my heart as I curl myself in ball on my bed and the hot piercing tears come crossing down my cheek. This isn't suppose to be how love feels… is it? It's not suppose to be like this. It's suppose to be a joyful feeling. A feeling of happiness, a feeling of bliss. But this, this is different. It hurts deep down, puncturing my heart as if millions of needles are pricking at me- making my insides bleed and cry out. But the only thing I can possibly do at the moment is…

Cry myself to sleep.

I know that's slightly pathetic… well alright, completely pathetic. But I can't help it. For the past, seven days and seven nights the only thing I've been able to do… is cry. I haven't been myself lately. Not going out with my friends, helping mom with the twins, and the only thing I that's been keeping myself from doing all of this… is Martin Brewer.

Yes you read correctly, a man.

Martin used to live with my family believe it or not. His father was shipped to Iraq for some type of military duties. Which left Martin alone, so my father, the nice guy he so happens to be, allowed Martin to stay with us. At first it was quiet a change for us. He dated Simon's old girlfriend which lasted for a little while and then she left to go to college, and everything went down hill from there.

Since Martin stay, little by little I was falling in love with him. Which happens to all people. You begin to fall for the guy you spend most time with, right?

But I couldn't admit it. No. There was no possible choice that I, Ruthie Camden could admit that I have a crush on the baseball star for Glen-Oak high school and the most outgoing, great looking guy. I actually thought that if I dated other people, my feelings would… leave.

"Ruthie, are you okay?" I hear Michael ask while sitting down on my bed touching my arm. Sam, isn't to far behind.

I sniffle and wipe the tears away from my cheek and look at him, "Yeah, I'm alright."

A shy smile spreads across his face while his eyes lights up softly, "That's good Ruthie. We don't like seeing you cry."

"Yeah Ruthie. We still love you." Sam announced as both of them wraps their arms around my body and hugs me greatly.

I can only smile. Maybe because it's the only thing that's keeping me from doing something stupid. Maybe it's because there's those that do still love me. But, for some odd reason… I can't love myself.

"Thanks Sam. Thanks David." I softly said, wiping away those nasty tears that stream down my face. What type of person am I sitting here crying like this? Over a guy of all things! Have I actually stooped so low in society that I need a man in my life? No, nonsense! I need no man to make me happy. I have my family. My family is what really matters.

David's eyes gleam up at me with a sparkling look. Yes, I know what your thinking, sparkles are only created in movies, cartoons mainly. But, for an odd reason… I saw it in his eyes. His right to be precise. "Ruthie… promise me you won't leave us like Matt, Lucy, Simon and Mary did. Promise us you'll stay here wif us."

I slightly giggle at my brother who so happens to be missing a front tooth making his speech a slight bit slur.

"Well David, I can't promise you that."

He frowns. A pout forms on his face, while he quickly wraps his arms around his small chest. "Why not?"

He has a point. Why can't I promise that I won't leave them? Maybe because the rest of my family has? Maybe because I don't know what's in store for me? Yes… that's it, I don't know what's in store for me. I'm only seventeen for crying out loud though. So it's not like any time soon I'll be leaving them. Well maybe for college I'll be leaving but anything else I highly doubt.

"Because David, God has his plans for me. I don't know what's going to happen." I brush his small bangs away from his eyes.

"But Ruthie, if you leave then that just leaves us. What are we suppose to do?" Sam asked cocking his head to one side blinking innocently. Hoping to hear an answer that will be to his and his brothers likings.

I can only sigh and place my hand in my lap while close my eyes. I sometimes wish I had the answer for everything. I wish I had the answer to why Martin had to leave me. But sometimes, some things are left better unsaid. "You'll just go on with your normal lives."

"But how are we suppose to know what that is?"

Question after question, they seem to never stop. My brother's are determined little guys if I may say so myself. Though, that's what makes me love them. That's what makes me so close to them.

"Well you don't. I don't know what it is, mom and dad doesn't know what it is. It's just something that life shall take it's course." Gods doings more like it. He's the only one that actually controls our living. Which if it wasn't for him, I don't know where I'd be at right now.

"Ruthie, how did you become so smart?" David asked, crawling on my bed beside me followed by Sam.

I only chuckle. I feel a bit more relaxed. The pain for Martin still interferes in my heart but I have to get over it. I just have too. Allow my life to live on. For the better. "I think it's because I did a lot of reading, and I have so many big brother's and sisters that I just automatically picked up on things."

"Ohhhh." Both boys said together.

"Come on boys. We're going to be late for your father's ceremony." Mom yells, probably putting some nice earrings in and checking her hair and makeup. "Ruthie are you coming?"

For once, it might be nice getting out of the house. Getting more of my mind off Martin.

Mom peeks her head in my room, putting her earring in one of her ears. Her lips are shinny red from the lipstick and her hair done so-so. She looked nice. The smell of white diamonds filled my room swiftly with it's fragrance. I engulfed the fresh scent and smiled, "Sure." I shrug and got to my feet.

"Well you best hurry. Your father will be starting at seven sharp. We don't want to be late." Mom said getting her earring in and walking into my room and grasp a hold of both boys hands. "Come boys. We better let Ruthie get ready."

Mom then took the boys out of my room and smiled at me. I only smiled back and lay back with a sigh. I can't help but wonder… what's Martin doing right now?

_**TBC…**_

_**Authors note:** Well I hope this wasn't to bad. (Sweat Droplets) I just want something more emotional. Something that's taken place in the show. So, let's see how this one turns out shall we? **Review please.** Criticism is welcomed beyond all half! _


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